Spam Filter - Notes for the Do-It-Yourselfer

Necessity is indeed the mother of invention.
Being between jobs right now, I've become adept at stretching the dollar. In that vein, an idea struck me that has helped flesh out my pantry on the cheap.
My spam filter had been overactive lately and I began to think, "what would this thing do for me beyond the confines of my computer?" So I hooked it up to my friend's air conditioner, as well as the filtration system in her apartment building's swimming pool. Checking back a couple days later - sure enough: trapped spam. Now I realize that my forthcoming advice will be lost on the vegetarians out there, but for the meat-eaters on budgets, read on about my experiences in turning what was ostensibly a pc security system into a modern day food-gatherer.

The pool spam filter was a lot more productive than the air filter, by about three-to-one. However, it is important to harvest pool spam frequently. Left too long, leaves and dead frogs can accumulate. A tasty salad to accompany the spam dinner? Perhaps, but this is for acquired tastes only.

Although new to me, a little research showed that the spam filter is only the latest tool to be employed in a long history of spam-gathering. Native Americans had been trapping spam in the wild for generations. As was their way, they would use every part of the spam, letting nothing go to waste. In fact, skilled spamherds could fashion their pelts into great coin purses. These would prove quite valuable centuries later when white men would introduce American Indians to "coins."

Sorry to say, though, that in the age of technology, spam collecting has become increasingly the domain of big agribusiness. The romantic notions of the wild spam hunts of yore, for the purposes of subsistence, have been relegated to the past. Today's factory farms employ much less humane methods in their soulless search for profits. In fact, almost from birth, young spamlets are raised inside rectangular tins where they spend the whole of their miserable lives. The upside is that spam filters are increasingly common and cheap these days. Put yours to work for you and don't throw your money at the heartless spam tycoons!